Knowing God’s Will
Growing up, doing God’s will meant going into full time Christian ministry. I remember when I was 13, I surrendered my life to do whatever God wanted me to do. I didn’t know what exactly that was but the only options I knew about was being a preacher, Christian school teacher, or a missionary. I was eliminated from being a preacher because of my gender. I was terrified to be a missionary. I remember praying for God not to send me to Africa! So, that left being a Christian school teacher and when I was 14, I felt that God was calling me to be a Christian school teacher. By the time I was 16, I knew I wanted to be a coach and teach PE and that is exactly what I set out to do. I graduated from a Christian College with a degree in education. I remember when the doubts about my future began to form. It was my senior year in college and after I did my student teaching, I was not so sure that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but at that point, I only had 1 semester of school left and it was too late to change my major. I graduated and went to teach in a Christian school in North Carolina. I never felt so lost in all my life. I began to question if that was really what God wanted me to do or if I was doing this because I pressured into it. The advice that I was given was not to quit after my first year and that it would get better. So, I took this advice and moved to a school outside Atlanta. I was there for 3 years and I was miserable just about the whole time I was there. (There is so much more I could write about here but will save it for another post). I finally decided that teaching school was not what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and I chose not to come back the next year. I had no idea what I was going to do and to top that off, I was going through a major crisis in my faith. Long story short, I moved to Charleston, SC and took a job working in a group home for juvenile delinquents. I fell in love with this job and it didn’t take me long to realize what I wanted to do with my life. I then worked at a Outdoor Wilderness Program in Georgia for 3 ½ years and have been working with mentally retarded children with severe emotional and behavioral disorders for 4 years. There have been many ups and downs during these years but I always felt like I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. Many people think that once you think you know God’s will that it doesn’t change, and I have been questioned on several occasions about my decision to step out of teaching. I realized a few years ago that God called me to work with children, not just be a Christian school teacher. Being that was the only thing I had to connect to God’s will that worked with children, it just seemed normal. Sometimes I question whether I will do this for the rest of my life, but I don’t worry about it because God has led me this far and He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.