My Confident Hope

Seven Reasons Not to Mess With a Kid

Seven reasons not to mess with children.

1)-

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was

very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a

human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

2)-

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while

they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each

child’s

work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked

what  the drawing was.

The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl

replied,  “They will in a minute.”

3)-

A Sunday school teacherwas discussing the Ten Commandments with her

five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy
Mother,
she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our

brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)

answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

4)-

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes
at  the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had
several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of

your  hairs white, Mom?”

Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and

make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then

said,  “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

5)-

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown

up and say,’There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael,
He’s
a

doctor.’

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the

teacher,  she’s dead.”

6)-

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying

to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my

head,

the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in
the
face.”

“Yes,” the class said.

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary

position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”

A little fellow shouted,  “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

7)-

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of
apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

“Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was
a  large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the

apples.

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3 responses

  1. HAHA You got me laughing out loud, here!!! Those were great. Would you mind if I borrowed them??? I think I would like to put them on my Facebook as a Note, would that be ok???

    October 26, 2008 at 6:02 am

  2. Loved the first one – too funny!

    October 28, 2008 at 7:26 pm

  3. Amy

    those are awesome. Ill be at the blog party as well. Glad to have found your blog!

    October 29, 2008 at 1:32 am

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