My Confident Hope

Posts tagged “Humor

Some random things about me……

Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? Yes

Favorite late night snack?

Do you own a gun? No and the world is safer because I don’t!!

What’s your favorite drink at specialty coffee shops? Sugar Free gingerbread latte

Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Not usually but I guess it would depend on what kind of doctor I was seeing!

What do you think of hot dogs? They are okay as long as they are not red!

Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night

What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee or Dt. Mountain Dew

Can you do push-ups? Not anymore

What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I don’t have one

Favorite hobby? blogging

What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? Procrastination

Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. – I have not done any Christmas shopping yet, I really like the tv show The Mentalist, and I will be glad when I stop coughing

Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Coffee, Dt. Mountain Dew, and Water

Current worry right now? When I will have time to do Christmas shopping

Current hate right now? paperwork

Favorite place to be? On the beach

How do you ring in the New Year? Same as any other day of the year. Asleep

Like to travel? Yeah but it requires money of which I have none

Do you own slippers? ummmm no!

What color shirt are you wearing? Orange

Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Nah, I would probably slide off the bed

Can you whistle? Yes

Favorite singer/band? Natalie Grant/NeedToBreathe

Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor? I’d like to think so

What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever is stuck in my head at that moment

Favorite girl’s names? Emily, Morgan, Addison

Favorite boy’s names? Ryan, Landon, Michah

What’s in your pocket right now? Nothing

Last thing that made you laugh? Mandy Thompson’s last twitter

Like your job? Most of the time.

Do you love where you live? Not really but it will do for now

How many TVs do you have in your house? Two
Do you drive the speed limit or speed? It depends

Does someone have a crush on you? ummmmm not that I know of

What is your favorite book? Captivating

What is your favorite candy? Hot Tamales, Peanut Butter M&Ms, and Jelly Bellys

Favorite Sports Team? University of North Carolina

What were you doing 12 AM last night? Coughing my lung out

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today? Do I really have to go work today??

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My Week at Twitter

http://twitpic.com/schp – At a very interesting party

Going to help co-host a bridal shower tonight thanks to Dayquil and Zicam!

I am tutoring a kid that’s extremely ADHD. We may b here all night!

Expecting some crazy weather here today which means crazy weather= crazier kids!

http://twitpic.com/rr39 – 1 of my boys bought this 4 me @ the stor
http://twitpic.com/rpc1 – Christmas store 4 the kids
Is wondering why the hallway in the office smells like wet dog????

http://twitpic.com/rgk5 – Seriously put your trash n the trash can

http://twitpic.com/rf8r – Beautiful day n south georgia

http://twitpic.com/ravk – Fun @ choir practice

I am going for a stroll….keep falling asleep at my desk!

Have i mentioned how long monday morning meeting is?

This week was a very crazy week and I was sick by the end of the week. The next two weeks are full speed ahead. Next week’s twitter update should be rather interesting!


Your Rock Star Name

I came across this today over at Maren’s blog and decided it was worth reposting

1. ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car): Misty Sentra

2. GANGSTA NAME (fave ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Cake Batter flip flop

3. NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favorite color, favorite animal): Blue Koala

4 SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Green Coffee

5. NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers): Enoch Harry

6. STRIPPER NAME (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Ralph Hot Tamales

7. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your fifth grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Webber Washington

8. SPY NAME (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Autumn Daisy

9. CARTOON NAME (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Cherry Sweater

10. HIPPIE NAME (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Peanut Butter Sandwich Palm


Seven Reasons Not to Mess With a Kid

Seven reasons not to mess with children.

1)-

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was

very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a

human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

2)-

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while

they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each

child’s

work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked

what  the drawing was.

The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl

replied,  “They will in a minute.”

3)-

A Sunday school teacherwas discussing the Ten Commandments with her

five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy
Mother,
she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our

brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)

answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

4)-

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes
at  the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had
several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of

your  hairs white, Mom?”

Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and

make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then

said,  “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

5)-

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown

up and say,’There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael,
He’s
a

doctor.’

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the

teacher,  she’s dead.”

6)-

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying

to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my

head,

the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in
the
face.”

“Yes,” the class said.

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary

position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”

A little fellow shouted,  “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

7)-

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of
apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

“Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was
a  large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the

apples.


Corporate Worship Tunes

What if we substituted these songs on Sunday Morning?


Bible in a Minute

I saw this today and thought it was funny. Everything you need to know in a minute about the Bible. Enjoy!


Billy the Goat

Disclaimer****This post is in no way meant to be presented in poor taste or bad humor. The point of the story is that sometimes things require a simple answer. And if nothing else that day, I made a child,  whose life has been traumatized by abuse laugh. Maybe when she walks by that animal pen and sees the goat, she will remember our conversation and it makes her laugh. I truly believe that laughter is the best medicine!!

Walking back to the cottage with one of the girls that I work with, we passed the animal pen that is home to Romeo the donkey, Molly and Maggie, the female goats, and Billy the male goat. As we walked by Billy was standing near the fence contentedly eating his grass. The child then began to ask me a series of questions and the conversation went something like this

Child: “Is the goat gay?”

Me: ” I don’t think animals have a sexual preference”

Child: “Is it a morphadite?” (Let me interject here……I think she was meaning hermapodite but I really didn’t want to correct her and then have to explain what that was so here was my brilliant answer……)

Me: No, it’s just a goat with really big balls!

We laughed all the way back to the cottage and crude……well maybe, but it brightened the day of a little girl trying to make sense of a cruel world and made her forget her pain if only for a brief moment.

Billy the Goat

Billy the Goat